this rant will prolly offend many of the people-with-penises who read this group, and i'm kind of expecting "oh, no, not *me" followups. but it's based on years of observation and was triggered by xibo's post about his trip to whatever club that was (hey, i'm not in his town so i don't hafta remember it to be sure of avoiding it).
i am so frigging tired of hearing guys whine about how there just aren't any women out there and the few who do exist won't give them the time of day. properly translated, this lament becomes: "there aren't any women with perfect bodies, gorgeous hair, flawless skin, and good finances who are willing to fall madly in love with me and make me happy all the time."
it all makes me wonder what in the *hell* any woman meeting that description would want with someone who only valued her for her physical appearance and for the extent to which she was willing to be devoted to them. jesus. like if you had several men from which to choose, you'd go for the one who saw you as a possession, a toy, something to strut around with -- "looky what i got! i must be a cool guy."
but we all know fat women don't count, unattractive women don't count, women with acne don't count, older women don't count... doesn't matter that when you really get to know someone and like them, you end up thinking they're physically attractive, regardless of how they looked to you at first.
when you guys find some other basis for your attractions and start whining about "there's this really nifty person in my [whatever] i want to know but she won't give me the time of day," i'll start feeling sorry for you. but this "damn, no hot babes will look at me" stuff is bullshit.
the way to start a relationship is to focus on who someone else *is* instead of what you think they can do for you.
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sine | deb
go ahead. flame away. enjoy.
subject: re: why johnny can't get laid
date: 13 feb 93 22:24:55 gmt
xibo@fido.econ.arizona.edu (mr. coates) writes:
>improperly translated if you ask me. listen, ms. superior, we all >know you can laid pretty much whenever you like.
yeah, which explains why i haven't had a *date* this year.
but okay, back when i didn't care about myself, i could get fucked if i wanted to and went through 16 men in 8 months, and there was a really simple reason for it: they were desperate, okay?? i weighed anywhere from 200-300 pounds during that time, and i was on bulletin boards a lot. i had a nifty online personality that got their attention and then they'd meet me at bbs parties and run away screaming, so then some desperate compunerd would ask if he could give me a ride home. this is better than angsting?? jesus, it's easier to masturbate: at least then you don't have to figure out how to get them to go home.
(not all the guys i was with were like that, but lots were)
which is *exactly* what my post was about. if all you want is to get laid, it's simple. you just find someone who's not particularly attractive and pay a lot of attention to her and it'll work. at least, it did on me and does on some women i know. it sounds harsh, but it's true. and the reason it's true is that guys are wandering around whining about there not being any women because the "hot" ones who have the self-esteem to go out to clubs won't give them the time of day.
if all you want is a fuck, then lower your standards, asshole. of course, the woman involved will have a massive ego boost when you approach and fall into a deep depression when you leave, but hey, with your buying-a-new-car approach to women, that shouldn't bother you too much.
>maybe not with your >ideal lust object, but you seem to have no problem finding partners >from time to time. so it's easy to see why you just can't relate.
can't relate at all. nope, not me, person who's been virtually a nun for ages. person who's too paralyzed by fear to talk to the guy she wants. person who spent several hours in his company last week and ended the night with a handshake.
>not supermodels, but any people. why do you assume that if we would >like to make some friends, to avoid being alone for the next 200 days, >that we must be total assholes with incredibly high standards?
if all you were looking for was friends, would your entire description of the encounters be based on physical stuff?? i mean, you didn't say a damned thing about those people aside from a clinical assessment of their attractiveness, for god's sake. if you just wanna make friends, it shouldn't matter what they look like. quit rationalizing. sheesh.
>so excuse the fuck out of me if i happen to go to clubs and see hot >babes. under such conditions, almost all women are hot; after all, >people like to dress up. why is this such a crime with you?
because, dammit, people like you have rejected me all my life. people like you are the reason when i go to clubs i feel sick and unhappy and afraid at first, until i get into dancing or whatever. people like you are the reason i feel like a failure sometimes. constantly being told by words and actions that you're not good enough, not attractive enough to make the grade, that people wouldn't look at you twice if they were paid... reading your whiny little post about those women just pissed me off no end, brought back a lot of really bad memories. like a guy who thought i was amazingly cool online and then when he met me and discovered i wasn't a knockout, ljbf'ed me. it's bullshit, the whole thing is. and you were spewing it just like we should all think it's cool that you go out and assess women like objects and comparison-shop before deciding which one will grace your sweaty one-handed fantasies. gah!
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sine | deb
"for three strange days i had no obligations...
it was completely still except the pounding of my heart was bringing
me back to life from three strange days" -- school of fish